Reaching Through The Pain

I saw a little light coming from the window. I realized that God had given me another new day. But I opened my eyes and I was in pain. I wished the pain would disappear like passing clouds in the sky, but it only kept me focused on the sadness that surrounded me.

When I first came to Asia Pacific Theological Seminary (APTS), I prayed every day to God to give me wisdom, knowledge in my studies, good health and financial stability. I diligently studied because I was afraid of failure, but was struggling because I did not have a proper understanding of the English language.

As time went by, my desire to pray had diminished. I focused too much on my studies and sleeping. I did not have personal devotion time single word of thanks to God for bringing me to APTS. I just focused on what I wanted to do for several months. I did not say a single word of thanks to God for bringing me to APTS. I just focused on what I wanted to do.

For a couple days, I lay in pain, alone in my apartment — no one was there to take care of me. I tried to take medicine to get better. However, when I woke up, I didn’t feel any better. Sadly, the medicine was not working at all. In fact, I was feeling worse, so I took another dose. This time, I added two different kinds of medication. I tried to sleep again.

After a long sleep, I woke up again with pain in my head. The sickness took a turn for the worse. I had a hard time breathing. I could not move. I thought that I would die at this rate since no one was around me.

In this moment, of desperation I called on the name of the Lord to heal me. I asked for forgiveness, and I felt His healing presence. Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. We can be ourselves in the presence of the Lord. He is waiting for us to pour out our burdens and hurts. When you are in pain, remember that God is there. We must invite His presence into our troubles. He always answers when we call on Him.

2. We all have struggles. The best way to deal with these things is to come to the Lord with a sincere heart and lay them down. We don’t have to pretend that everything is okay in our lives.

3. I exist because He loves me. And it was during this time of pain that God taught me a precious lesson — to always bringing everything, every day, to Him.

It is the nature of human beings to call on God only when we are in need. We forget Him when we have everything. But God wants to have a relationship with us always.

“For in him we live and move and have our being... We are his offspring” (Acts 17:28, NIV).