by Peter Banzon, Hope for You radio broadcast

Q:My husband is being offered a good paying job but that means we have to move our family to another province. I am resisting the move because I am afraid of the what might happen to us there…am I right?

A: It is not easy to move your family from one location to another. You may be afraid that the children will feel displaced because they will be taken away from a familiar environment where friends and classmates give them a sense of security.

• Pray about the situation. Often times we allow fear and apprehension to dominate our thinking rather than allowing God to give us clear direction. Set aside blocks of time to seek the mind of God. If you and your husband have consulted God on the matter, and you know this is God’s direction for you, by all means support your husband’s decision to make a career move.

• Assess your current situation and forecast the possible challenges you will face. Wherever this decision takes you, it is important is that God is with you and the whole family is supportive.

• Start preparing the children emotionally, mentally and spiritually for the move by having family meetings to inform the whole family about the changes that are coming. Allow the children to freely express themselves. Anticipate their resentments and apprehensions. Take time to pray with them, and allow each member of the family to entrust the future to God in prayer. This is also an opportunity to affirm your husband’s career move in the presence of the family. Have frequent dialogues with family members before you actually move, to reinforce the family’s decision.

I feel that it is not God’s intention for your husband to take the job, but not to take you and the children with him; families were meant to be together. Husbands and wives ought to be together spiritually, emotionally and physically. You can face the unknown together and overcome. Filipinos are known for their adaptability and their flexibility. back to top

by Jeanne Ching

Life is full of challenges.

After one hurdle, there will always be another one waiting around the bend. We cannot evade all difficulties, but we have a choice whether these challenges will be stepping stones or stumbling blocks to attaining our goals.

My friend and I discovered something about life from observing the flight of eagles. Eagles ride thermals to help them soar. Thermals are rising currents of warm air generated by terrain near rivers with cliffs, valley edges or mountain slopes. We observed that an eagle would often sit on the tip of a large rock, tree, or a cliff to study the flow of the wind. When the time was right, the eagle would catch a thermal and take off soaring upward. When riding a thermal wind, the eagle floated with little or no effort of its own.

Suddenly we realized that if eagles could ride thermals and go where they want to go, then we, as humans, could ride on challenges to accomplish what we want to achieve in our lifetime. In other words, challenging problems could become opportunities!

Opportunities are elusive. If we intend to take advantage of them, we should recognize them from a distance, and be prepared to jump at them before they actually arrive, just as the eagles jump at the thermals. Once an opportunity is gone, there is no way of knowing if it will ever come our way again.

Like the eagle that loves the storm winds, we have to stop murmuring or getting depressed over problems. We must learn to take every obstacle as a challenge and treasure every opportunity. We need to realize that we can use even problematic situations to help us achieve our goals.

When caught in hard circumstances, we must not be quick in our struggle to break free. Instead, let us become keen observers of life, and learn to adapt to different conditions that come our way. When the time is ripe, we must be brave enough to take the plunge and get a step closer to what we want to achieve.

Life is not a pre-cut pattern for us to fit into. The way we live our lives sets the pattern. Goals are what we want to accomplish. They can be achieved if we dare to dream, and have the faith and courage to pursue them.

Accomplishment takes a lot of time, effort and determination. But, actually attaining a goal provides a thrill beyond words and gives meaning to the problems life presents us with. back to top

Adjusting to a new job can teach you a lot about yourself.

"Did I make the right decision?” I emailed this question to my overseas friend during the third month on my new job. I had left an eight year employment in exchange for the prospect of a new environment, new learning, new challenges, and I hoped, a rewarding future! But, three months later, I found myself unhappy and stressed. My mind was tired, and my energy drained, from trying to prove myself equal to my new position. I was sick of dealing with gossip, and I was struggling to find fulfillment in my work.

“Don’t worry too much,” my friend replied. “Three months is only a short time. It usually takes at least six months for someone to make significant contributions. And, always remember the real reason why you are there. You are there to draw people to God by doing your work faithfully. That is your main job.”

The reply was comforting, but, at the same time, a reproach. I realized I had been too pre-occupied with making an impression and seeking approval. This realization was the first thing I learned about adjusting to new job situations—don’t’ try so hard to impress other people. Just concentrate on doing your job well! As I have continued working, I have acquired some other principles that have proved valuable as well, even though, learning them took a few knocks out of my pride!

I learned I needed to acknowledge the skill and experience of people who worked in subordination to me. Just because I was designated the superior didn’t mean I knew it all. There were times I had to reverse my decisions and concede that others knew better than I did. I did this, even though I wanted to save face and insist on my own way.

I learned to say “sorry.” It took me days to say this, because I was battling with my pride. I had accidentally offended someone who misinterpreted my statement. I felt that I didn’t owe anyone an apology when I honestly did not have malicious intent in my comment. However, I found out it is necessary to clear up issues like this to ensure a harmonious and genuine working relationship.

I learned to “forgive and forget.” It reached my ears that there was gossip about me that was not true. I thought about confronting the person, saying my piece, and not allowing anyone to step over me. But, words from my pastor’s wife stopped me. She once said that it was not her job to vindicate herself when church members criticized her. God would do it for her. All she had to do was do her work faithfully. Her words influenced my decision. I decided to let this gossip pass, confident that the person would know the truth eventually.

I learned to take correction and instruction constructively from my peers. I usually have no problem taking correction this from a superior who delivers it professionally. But, it was hard to receive it from an equal who, to my ears, sounded condescending, I had to learn to accept correction graciously and shake off the embarrassment.

I’m still plugging away at my not-so-new job. I still have to make new adjustments and learn things everyday. Pride still sticks it neck out from time to time. But, I am happier, more peaceful and content. I approach work with a new attitude: to fulfill my work and responsibility to the best of my ability for my Lords’ honor and glory. That is, after all my main job! back to top

by Evelyn Damian

Gigi, Kristina and Grandpa

Gigi and Dan Bautista have 3 daughters. The eldest, Kristina, graduated Salutatorian from Philippine Science High School and received ‘Best in Research’ award. She is now studying at the International Universityin Bremen, Germany on scholarship.

What were your feelings when your daughter graduated?
Gigi: Graduation was just a sort of culmination of all Kristina’s efforts in high school. Now she can pursue her other goals in life.

How did your daughter get the idea of studying abroad?
Gigi: She found out there were other students who were able to study in foreign schools on scholarship, so she thought she could also do it. I encouraged her.

What role did you play in this choice?
Gigi: The choice was hers, but the confidence that she could do it, that she could get a scholarship abroad, that she could succeed, not only academically but also emotionally in being away from us, I think that’s what I and my husband were able to give her.

What does preparing children for life involve?
Gigi: Life preparation does not start when they decide what course to take. It starts in early childhood. It includes setting good Christian values,recognizing the child’s talents and skills, and pro-viding the means to develop them. It’s really knowing your child and guiding them from the time they are very young.

How do you develop Christian values?
Gigi: Values are developed when you spend time with your children. Some parents say that they don’t spend much time with their children but when they do, it’s quality time. I don’t think it’s just the quality of time, but also the quantity of time you spend with them that is important.

My husband and I always tell the girls about our day. We tell them when something happens in the business: what it is and why it happened, and the lessons we learned. My husband loves to tell them success stories of famous people. He tells the girls stories of how people he knew became successful, and why someone’s business did not thrive and how it happened. We tell them real stories. What their dad teaches them cannot be learned in school. We’re not preparing them only for college. We are preparing them for the rest of their life because we don’t know where they will end up. We’ve rooted them deeply in Christian values, so whatever happens in the future, they will be able to stand.

How are you helping Kristina now, in this phase of her life?
Gigi: Being so far away, the only thing we can do is to pray and communicate with her. I told her, “if something bad happens to you, (you get raped, or get pregnant) you must tell us.” I had to say this so she would not be afraid to tell us. We know there’s great temptation when you are away from your parents.

What advice do you have for other parents so they can prepare their child to take the next step in life?
Gigi: You have to look past the next step. The goal is to train them to be the person God wants them to be. With that in mind, you help the child have a good foundation, and good values, education, or training, to equip them not only spiritually but also academically, emotionally and physically. And, cover them always with prayer. back to top

by Revodem Avarientos

Romelyn and baby

If there is a time when a woman is overwhelmed with joy, it is when she gives birth to her first born. It’s true that the right of passage to motherhood is not easy. A woman suffers physically, mentally and emotionally when giving birth. But, nothing can compare to her joy when she holds her first born. Romelyn Medina is a new mother. Here are her thoughts on the experience:

Romelyn, you are a relatively new mother?
I got married last November 2003 to my husband, Rollie Medina. We initially planned to have a baby after one year of marriage but (ha ha ha…) God blessed us with a baby. We are so happy to have a healthy son, Ryrie-Ian, who was born December 23, 2004.

What was it like when you were waiting for his birth?
We were so excited to see him. My husband and I would talk to him while he was still in the womb and tell him to come out because we couldn’t wait to hold and kiss him.”

What was the first thing that came to mind when you first saw your baby?
I couldn’t really believe it! We were so grateful for his good health. But I um, I wanted a baby girl, so during my regular check ups when the ultra sound came out, I was a little bit saddened. During the delivery I was still hoping that it would be a girl, but when he came out, it was really a boy. In the end I was still very happy.

Any changes in your life that you want to share since the baby arrived?
My husband and I fight more often. (LOL). Of course there are so many changes: first, is the joy of having a child. It’s true when they say that when you see your baby you will forget all your hardships, even your tiredness from work, especially when he smiles. As per managing the family, there are more concerns with the budget. And the workload…before, we did laundry once a week; now we do it more often. If we have to go somewhere, it takes two hours to prepare our baby and all the stuff that goes with him. Our sleeping habits also changed. When he is awake, wewe must be awake. When he sleeps, we sleep even though we don’t feel sleepy.

What one word describes the experiences you've had since the baby arrived?
Overwhelming! Motherhood makes me happy but it also brings many demands into my life. I have to sacrifice many things for the sake of my child. For him though, I gladly sacrifice these things.

What about your Spiritual Life?
I have noticed that we are more prayerful. We are responsible for this child’s life; I think this is the reason why we feel the need of God more in our own. Since our baby arrived, Rollie and I consistently have devotions, so we, and our baby will have a good start.
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by Rosalind Ngo-Li

When will these daughters of mine marry?!” was the question that bugged my mom for years. Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t as if she was tired of taking care of us. Nor was she trying to get rid of us. But isn’t it every mothers’ wish to see their children settled down well? I am the third of 3 sisters and have one younger brother. My eldest sister married young. After that, it seemed nobody was interested in following her footsteps. And that worried my mom. For a while, she thought my elder sister and I would never marry. And, the truth of the matter is, that although my mom wanted us to get married, she also dreaded the changes that would occur when we left home.

I can still remember the moment my mom first laid her eyes on Johnson, my husband. We were busy at the store the day that he dropped by, all the way from Manila, to bring me a small gift. Just as she was craning her neck to give him the standard, scrutinizing “head to foot” look that mothers give, he was gone! Mom never thought things would get serious. (Guys like that, who can’t face their future mother-in-law, must not have any noble intentions. And besides, everybody knows that long-distance relationships rarely work!) She was secretly hoping that I would meet another guy from our hometown of Cebu. Preferably quickly before matters got out of hand!

“Mom, Johnson and I are getting married in May!” It was an announcement that rocked my mother’s stable world at Richter scale 8.0! It was barely a year since my elder sister got married. Moreover, my husband and I decided to leave for Manila 3 days after the wedding. She felt her own future was becoming uncertain. Who would help her run the family business? Should she continue, or close down? Could she handle the workload? She even considered quitting her commitments in church. Worry became a heavy backpack that she carried.

We made it through my wedding ceremony — without tears. I believe that she had finally decided to “let go and let God.” At just the right moment, my mom learned to let go of the reins and let God take control. Indeed there is a time and season for everything under heaven. And God’s timing is always perfect — never too early and never too late. “As long as it is in accordance with God’s will, then I am happy,” says my mom. Life will always be full of uncertainties, questions and changes. But, one thing remains constant, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ remains the same yesterday, today and forever — ever dependable and ever faithful. Right now, my mom is entrusting her life, present and future, in the best Hands there are. Our family business is still going on and going strong by God’s grace and mercy. And amazingly, she still has enough strength left to faithfully serve Him in the church. My mother found her renewed strength and confidence in the Lord to face an indefinite future. You can too! back to top

by Revodem Avarientos

Mercia

They say that older people have wisdom; “while we are still going, they are on their way back!” Ate Mercia Dagaman Ochavo is “coming back” with happiness and contentment in her heart! She is 63 years old and she has served Christ since 1956.

What is your secret for enjoying life?
My secret for enjoying life is basically having Jesus Christ in me. At my age right now, to be honest…I am quite contented. I have good health despite having epilepsy since I was a child. God also blessed me and my family financially. Although we are not rich, all our needs are being met.

How do you feel about being single?
I am happy. It’s written in the Bible that it’s good for a woman to get married, but, if a woman cannot not get married, it is good none the less. I had my share of crushes when I was young (LOL). At this age I am contented, and I am happy.

How do you deal with life’s difficulties?
There are times when I feel troubled. So, I talk things over with God through prayer; I readily express myself to other people and most of all to God. When I was young, I asked God why He allowed me to have epilepsy. Having this kind of sickness can restrict you sometimes. When I was still in college, there was an opportunity for me to study abroad, but because of my condition I decided not to pursue it. Looking back however, I have no regrets; I know I made the right choice. I’m contented, and I’m happy.

How important is God to you?
I can’t really put it in words. If not for Him, I cannot really imagine what life is all about. When I look back, I can’t help but shed a tear for all the things that He has done in my life. I thank Him. Without God I would never be who I am today. I really doubt that I could still be living if I hadn’t known Him personally.

What words of wisdom can you share to younger readers who want to live a fulfilled life?
First we should get to know God on a personal level. Second, meditate on the Word of God. This is our guide to life. Give respect to God doing His commands. These I believe are the ingredients of a happy life.” back to top

Here is what you need to do: • Do your research. Find out what the Bible says. • Find out what contraceptive method your doctor believes is safe for you—don’t just ask your auntie! • The best source of information is your ob/gyn doctor. She can tell you what methods are safest and most effective given your individual health. • Discuss with your husband how many children you both want and can provide for. • Pray about it. Make a responsible choice that is right for you and right for the Philippines. Decide to decide!

If you are married, of child-bearing years, and not using a contraceptive method, you are planning another child. It will happen sooner or later. Here are some interesting facts:

• Widespread resistance to contraception in the Philippines hasresulted in one of the highest fertility rates in the world.

• In 10 years we will have 20 million more children! Every day 5,800 more Filipinos are born. By 2030 the population is projected to double. (TIME asia, 2005)

• 45% of the nation is under 20 years old. In a country where family planning is desperately needed, why is it not used? In a country where people love children, why do families have more kids than they can feed and educate properly?

• Many times family planning is not used because of misconceptions. For instance, research by the Academy for Educational Development shows that many families know about family planning methods, approve them, but don’t use them. Why? Apparently they have not received good counseling. They have received wrong information about potential side effects and so they are reluctant to try contraception.

Many times people have the wrong idea too about what the Church thinks. The Catholic Church does NOT forbid all family planning. It does endorse natural family planning* which, although difficult to practice, is effective.

Protestant churches endorse a variety of family planning that prevents conception such as: pills, injections, condoms, vasectomy, and tubal ligation.

Neither the Catholic nor Protestant church approves the termination of life after conception takes place. Abortion, whether medically or self-performed is considered murder by both churches. The “morning-after pill” is also labeled morally wrong.

The point is, if you want to limit the number of children you have, you can find a method that is acceptable to your church and one that is safe for your body. Don’t allow chance to make this important choice for you.

*Natural family planning (promoted by the Catholic church) is any of several methods that do not involve sterilization or contraceptive devices or drugs. It involves avoiding sexual intercourse during the fertile time of a woman’s menstrual cycle. The fertile time is ascertained by calendar and/or cervical mucus. (Population Reference Bureau, 2005) back to top

by Peter Banzon

People are creatures who want to maintain their equilibrium. We resist anything that pushes us out of our comfort zone. When we face a flood of changes and challenges, our sense of balance goes haywire and we push the panic button. In other words, people fear change. This fear causes many people to miss out on the blessings of God. In reality, many challenges in life are blessings in disguise. Consider two ways that we can react to the challenge of change in our life.

When change enters our life, we can react with FEAR. Recently I talked with a man who was praying for his family. He had some decisions to make. He had been notified that a shopping mall was going to be built on the site where he and his neighbors had their houses. His house was going to be torn down. This was happening when his children needed to begin college. He didn’t have money for a new house or school tuition. This man prayed earnestly that God would intervene. Here is what happened:

•God provided him with another house.
•God provided him with a better paying job.
•God provided his son with a scholarship.

What did this man do with all these opportunities? Nothing. His family was afraid to leave their neighborhood, so they did not move into the other house but are living in a kubo without electricity or water. The man was afraid to take the promotion, so he did not get the additional salary. He was afraid he couldn’t provide fare and baon for the son, so his boy did not accept the scholarship or go to college. Is the God who provided the opportunity not the God who will provide the means?

When change enters our life, we can react with FAITH. Here is another true story: A nurse was widowed seven years ago. She left her kids in the care of her mom so she could work abroad. When she came home, she was a total stranger to her kids. She was afraid that she could not cope with this emotional estrangement as well as coping with finding a steady job here. In fact, she contemplated working abroad again just to escape the situation. In spite of all of her fears she asked God to give her the courage to stay in the Philippines and reestablish her ties with her children. Here is what happened:

•God has given her a steady job.
•Her family is slowly being healed.
•She has a ministry for single parents.

Friends, has God opened a door for you to enter? Has God given you an opportunity to reconcile with a friend or loved one? Has He provided an opportunity for a career move? Has He allowed a great problem to cross your path so you can grow in maturity?

You can step up to those opportunities and face the challenges knowing God is with you, or you can back down in fear and miss the great things God has in store for you. Faith or fear. You decide. back to top

by Ervielyn Ortaleza

Janice

For many of us, the thought of changing where we live, seeing new people, not being familiar with the location of stores, or of transportation is frightening.

Janice Villanueva, 22, just moved to a boarding house near the hospital where she works as a nurse. Here are her thoughts about moving.

Why did you move to a new place?
Well, the main reason is to save time and energy. Since I am a nurse and my shift is unpredictable, it is important that I live near my workplace. At least, after 16 hours of duty, I can go home quickly and sleep.

Did you find the move advantageous?
I am able to save time and energy. I am meeting new friends from different places.

What are the advantages and disadvantages from a spiritual aspect?
Actually all my board mates are non Christians. I was very honest with them about my faith and they respect that. In fact, I‘ve already invited them to one of our gatherings in the church. We attended the “worship explosion: and they had a great time with the Lord. I see this more as an advantage than a disadvantage. I’m in a position where I can minister to other people. For me, that is a blessing in disguise. Not everybody is given a chance to meet and live with people with different beliefs. I ‘m blessed because God has put me in this new place. I believe it is His will.

What are the lessons you’ve learned from moving?
First, I have learned to be independent. I decide for myself and live on my own. Second, I have learned to adapt to a new environment and to adjust to other people. Third, I have become more emotionally and physically stable. I have learned to manage my time. Lastly, I have learned that has put me here so that I can share His love with others. For me that’s a great privilege that only few people are given.

What would you advise those who are planning to move?
Before you move, know your purpose. As yourself why you are moving. Think of the advantages and disadvantages. Most of all, know God’s purpose. Is it really His will for you to move? Take advantage of what God has put on your shoulders. Be sensitive to what God is calling you to do. back to top